It’s Okay To Love Yourself

It’s Okay To Love Yourself

It’s okay to love yourself.

I’m saying this because that’s what God told me today. And I figure if He needed to tell me, He probably wants another woman out there to know this, too.

Maybe another wife, mother, daughter, employee, or servant of God is rushing around her house, trying to take care of everyone and everything, maybe she’s as stressed out as I am, trying to check every box. Do. All. The. Things.

It’s okay to love yourself.

That’s what God said to me today.  Yesterday, I woke up at 3 am with a stomach virus. And I had to take the day off of work. And then one of my kids felt “sick,” so he took the day off, too. Which meant my day off wasn’t really a day off.

And then, when the other kid got home from school, they couldn’t understand that Mom didn’t feel well and needed to take it easy. And someone still had to do the dishes. And work didn’t stop, deadlines didn’t stop. My calling to write and all of that didn’t stop for my sickness.

When you’re Mom, nothing stops for you.  But it’s still okay to love yourself.

I’ve noticed that when my husband needs a break, he just takes it. He doesn’t ask a single soul for permission. On his day off, he simply takes his bike and goes somewhere. In the mornings, he wakes up at 4:30 am and heads to the gym. He doesn’t worry about who is going to be there for the kids.  When he gets home, he does all he needs to do for the night and the next day, and then he lays in bed and reads a book.  He doesn’t worry about whether the special underwear with the pocket for our son’s athletic cup are clean for baseball practice. He doesn’t go downstairs and check lunch balances for the next day at school. For him, it’s just understood that he needs to care for himself. For him, it’s okay to love himself.

I’m not complaining at all. I love that he can do this.  Why can’t I? Why is it not okay for me to take time to love myself?

He says, “You can wake up with me at 4:30 am to exercise.”

Yes. I could. But the little people who live in the house with me would hear me, and they would wake up, and begin with their needs. They need my love. My attention.  My time.  And then there is none for me.

Today, I hit a wall and something or someone (God) told me to get my kids off to school, and before ANYTHING ELSE, I was to close my door and spend time with my own body. Because it’s okay to love myself. It’s okay to love my body.  It’s okay to show love.

And so I did. I haven’t even eaten breakfast yet.  Still. But it’s okay to love myself. It’s okay.

This is what God had me do, and maybe He’s had you do it before, and you are way ahead of me, but I had no idea.

I put on praise and worship music. And comfy clothes.  And I turned up the volume. Blocking the entire world out.  I closed my eyes. I sang to my God at the top of my lungs in the darkness of my own mind. I let Him come into my home, my heart and my broken body and fill me up. All my sorrow, my joy, my intentions, my regrets — they were released into the space between me and the Heavens. I released tension and tears and poured my heart and soul out to a God who loves me just as I am. Oh, the feelings of pleasure I felt with my eyes closed, only able to FEEL the spirit in the room with me. Oh, how those minutes felt endless. Timeless. Limitless.

It’s okay to love yourself.

It was a tiny piece of time in my busy day. And now as I type, I can hear my emails piling up, but I don’t care.

It’s okay to love MYSELF.

It’s okay to take that time. Steal it if you have to.

Thank you, God, for loving me. And for inviting me to use my body as a vessel for worship.  You are a wonderful God.


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